Hoarding

I’m not sure if this really is a Biking Bettys worthy blog but it has tickled me and thought I’d share.

As you know, Bro and I ride quite often and use at least 2 water bottles a ride times 2 rides a week which is 4 bottles times 2 for each of us equaling about 8 bottles per week which, hello, is a lot of bottles.

So I am getting ready for a ride and find myself scrounging for water bottles. Where are all of the bottles disappearing…knowing full well they are rolling around in the back seat of Bro’s car with mold and mildew growing in them.

Ahhhh!

So, here comes my son getting ready for lacrosse practice looking for a water bottle which he can’t find either because there are none except for some random lids that don’t fit anything. I’m watching him come up empty handed from the water bottle drawer and I’m ready for him to ask me what to do when he says, oh, I have some bottles in my lacrosse bag I should get out. The next thing I know he starts dumping armfuls of bottles in the sink and I can’t believe my eyes!

There were 11 water bottles in his bag!

Our water bottles have been in an equipment bag with stinky pads, gloves, pinnies and cleats. They don’t just stink; they reek of something more reminiscent of cat pee pee.

They have been disinfected, I hope, because we are using them like they are brand new. Salut!

Brown's Bruise

Owie! That's a beaut.

Barbie and I needed to do a long ride and we always love it when Brown comes along because she is always saying things that are very funny and she tempers Barbie and me when we start pushing the pace. On a long ride we don’t need speed we just need to do the miles. Brown pulls us back thus the ride is always more enjoyable.

We were probably 28 miles into our 50 mile ride and had stopped for a short respite (remember, Brown can’t drink and ride at the same time...we’re working on it). I don’t remember what the conversation was but Brown got twisted up and off balance on her bike with one foot clipped in. Before we could even begin to help her she started falling. It was one of those slow motion falls where you don’t know whether to get out of the way for fear she will take you down with her OR try and help her stay upright. I got out of the way! Barbie was not in her path so she just watched in wonder. I’m sorry, I knew I couldn’t help her and let’s be honest, save yourself! 

Here’s the crazy thing while the bike did go down, Brown DID NOT. She started hopping on one foot and shouting OH, OH, OH and before we knew it she had cleared the bike and was standing a few feet from it. If she had thrown her hands up like a gymnast nailing her dismount we surely would have gone down too, next time maybe. 

We started laughing so hard I almost fell over too. Tears rolling down all of our faces. It was just what we need to finish the last 22 miles which were all uphill, mind you!

This was literally two seconds before the fall. 

Look how happy Brown (right) is.

The next day at work Brown calls me to tell me about the bruise on her posterior and how it smarts like nobodies business. I ran right up to her office to lay eyes on the said bruise and couldn’t believe my eyes so I took a picture to share.  

Blonde

Bakery Ride

I was laying on the couch reading the editor’s note in Bicycling (August) by Peter Flax and he mentioned his ride through a Mennonite community and I wanted to read more about his experience but he segue-wayed into his hot dog ride which I liked too but it wasn’t what I wanted to read. Then it hit me, wait a minute, I have my own experience with the Amish community. 

My first encounter was a couple of years ago when Barbie and I were on a very tough ride when we found ourselves passing a horse and buggy. It looked like a family coming back from church. The only thing I could see was a straw hat. We were shocked and found ourselves waving and saying hello as if we were star struck.

Fast forward two years, Bob and I decide to do the Bakery Ride. It’s a destination ride (which I love to do) where you ride to the Amish bakery (pray they are open) eat a fruit turnover and ride back. Barbie and I did this ride with Bro earlier in the spring but the bakery was closed. I was looking so forward to the turnover treat. Ahhhh! Anyway, Bob and I are having a great ride and about 18 miles into our ride, I look over and there is an Amish girl in full skirt to the ground along with apron and bonnet mowing the yard with a lawnmower nicer than mine at home and she is barefooted. I almost fell off the back of my bike and if it hadn’t been so politically incorrect, I would have stopped and taken her picture. I couldn’t believe my eyes on all levels. It was no less than 85 degrees at 9:00 a.m. in the morning. and SHE was mowing not HE.  What the??? This was totally freaking me out like I was in the twilight zone.

Bob and I were stunned when in the next instant we look up and here comes the oddest little cart with horse, it was not a buggy, but a love seat type of cart with two young girls holding the reigns. We waved and said hello and they waved.  As they passed, I turned around to give them the once over and the youngest of the two was doing the same thing to us. She was looking over her shoulder at this crazy lady in tight black pants and psychedelic jersey! Don’t you know she was thinking, HOW could you and WHY would you ride a bike in that get-up! Ha. Bob and I were so cracked up we had a hard time holding a straight line.  What a dichotomy in cultures and I’m sure there are plenty of pictures where the two have crossed but this would have been priceless.

We continued on our way around the bend and found the bakery. It is run by a family who are familiar with bikers and even the name of the ride. 

Wall of hats at the Amish bakery

Bob and I each had a turnover and relaxed on the front porch. The son of the owner was interested in our bikes and wanted to know all about the components. I asked if he rode much and he said just from farm to farm. He said they would never ride competitively against each other. He was as friendly as could be and I wanted to continue to talk with him but knew I would just embarrass myself with stupid questions. 

Bob and I cruised home and had a great ride fueled by sweet homemade goodness. What could be better than that?